Closing Time

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! MAKE IT STOP! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME, TELEVISION? WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME SUFFER LIKE THIS? WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO YOU? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!?

This is the worst thing ever. This is an abomination. I actually had to fast-forward parts of this episode to avoid being compelled to tear my own eyeballs out and puncture my eardrums. That stupid fat fuck from The Lodger is back and is even worse than last time. WHY!?

Bring back Amy, bring back Rose, bring back River Song, I don't care, just don't make me watch this dickhead any more!

From what I could tell (when I wasn't screaming or vomiting), this episode was about Cybermen. Old-style Cybermen too, not the new alternate-universe sort. So obviously it was never going to be a good episode, because Cybermen episodes never are and never have been, but if you just hold down the fast forward button every time Fatso McFucktard is onscreen, this isn't such a bad Cybermen story.

Well, apart from all the retarded bullshit like the Doctor being able to "speak baby" and the fact that he got a job and his nametag and coworkers all call him "Doctor" like as though that's a perfectly ordinary name. And all the jokes about him and Tubby von Dickface being gay.

Also, Cybermats have teeth now? And didn't they used to have guns? And they can jump? And they drain power from things?

And then there was the ending, which was so stupid I think it gave me cancer. Apparently instead of gold dust, the Cybermen's weakness is now emotion. And it makes their heads explode. For some reason.

Oh, and next week, River's back. So yeah, that thing I said before about how I was OK with bringing her back? That was a lie. And next week's episode looks like it's going to be one of those ones where there's a lot of running and shouting and exploding and absolutely no plot, but at least it won't be as bad as this one. Nothing's as bad as this episode. Subjecting people to this week's episode should be declared a war crime.

The Cybermen looked pretty cool though.