Star Trek: Discovery - Such Sweet Sorrow, Part 2

Literally an hour of explosions, fights and people being ridiculously dramatic. It was incredibly boring. You could skip this episode (and the previous one) and just assume you know what happens - because you do.

Star Trek: Discovery - Such Sweet Sorrow, Part 1

What an absolute nothing of an episode. What a complete waste of time. It's all setup for the last episode, and we already know what's going to happen. You can't convince us that Spock is going to get stranded in the future forever because this is a prequel; we know that doesn't happen. We know that Discovery ends up in the future, and there are no crew on board because you literally told us that in Calypso. And nothing actually happens in this episode.

Star Trek: Discovery - Through the Valley of Shadows

Red Angel; time crystals; Michael Michael Michael; Klingons. There. You're all caught up. Another bad episode that wasn't worth watching.

Star Trek: Discovery - Perpetual Infinity

What even happened in this episode? Basically nothing. It was all dumb and pointless and made me wonder why I'm even watching this terrible show.

Star Trek: Discovery - The Red Angel

In the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy books there's a device that's designed to give you ultimate perspective, to allow you to know exactly how insignificant you are on a universal scale. Zaphod Beeblebrox is scheduled to be hooked up to this device, but before that can happen he's brought into a simulation, an exact copy of the universe that was created just for him, so when the device is activated he learns that he is the most important person in the entire universe and the very reason for its existence, thus sparing him the fate of having his mind destroyed by the true scale of his own worth. Star Trek: Discovery is that simulation, but for Michael Burnham. It's all about Michael. Everything.

Star Trek: Discovery - Project Daedalus

This episode was a real land of contrasts. It was half great, half terrible. There was a lot of really good character stuff in there, but then the plot got in the way, and that ending - ugh. Just the worst. But I'll get to that. Let's start with the good bits.

Star Trek: Discovery - If Memory Serves

Honestly, this episode was not bad. I think it helps that Spock has finally arrived so it's not just everyone talking about him all the time. The Talosians were kind of a weird thing to include because it's really not clear how they could possibly fit into the larger story, but they were fine. I'm also not sure where they're going with the Dr Boyfriend plot, but I guess we'll see.

Star Trek: Discovery - Light and Shadows

Spock. Spock? Spock Spock. Spooooock. Spock? Spock? Spock. Spock! Spoooock! Yeah, this was a shit episode.

Star Trek: Discovery - The Sound of Thunder

God what a dumb episode. Saru's backstory is the worst. Also, everyone makes really dumb decisions in this episode - and it turns out that the Bau'ls have warp travel so the prime directive doesn't even apply and the federation was still just letting slavery and genocide go on unopposed.

Star Trek: Discovery - Saints of Imperfection

This was an extremely irritating episode. You know that thing where there's some kind of time limit, like a ticking bomb or something, and the characters just stand around chatting instead of getting the fuck out of there as quickly as possible? Yeah, that's, like, half this episode. And the other half is stupid Section 31 bullshit.

Star Trek: Discovery - An Obol for Charon

You know what? Last week might have just been them shaking off the last of season one. This week we're back to some definite Star Trek. Not what I'd call great Star Trek, but it definitely felt pretty damn Star Treky. They're starting to bring the bridge crew into the show more, the main story of the episode was centred on a one-time weird thing they encountered in space, and they had people working together and trying to avoid resorting to violence.

Star Trek: Discovery - Point of Light

This episode just had everything going on. It was a real mess. The Klingons are back with their dumb Klingon bullshit. As I predicted, Tilly tried to keep her hallucinations secret. And also remember spock and the red angels? That stuff's still happening. Evil Georgiou is also back as part of stupid Section 31, which is evidently going to be very important this season. So with all these different things happening at the same time, there wasn't much actual plot. More just setting a bunch of stuff up to presumably pay off later.

Star Trek: Discovery - New Eden

This was probably the most Star-Treky episode of the series so far. Apart from the season-long storyline stuff it could have been a mediocre episode of TNG - except that in TNG they were a lot better about talking to each other and sharing information.

Star Trek: Discovery - Brother

I just have to say right up front, this season looks like it's going to be better than last season. I want to make that clear because I don't have much nice to say about this episode because there just wasn't much to it. The specific plot of the episode is mostly filler and what's left is setting things up for the rest of the season. It was already more fun than last season though, and I like Pike so far.

Star Trek: Discovery - The Escape Artist

The fourth and final Short Trek is centred on the recurring character of Harry Mudd. I still don't know why they thought he was worth bringing back from TOS, but he's fine, I guess. And this episode is also fine. It's a bit like Calypso in that there's really nothing new or unique about it but it was well-executed.

Star Trek: Discovery - The Brightest Star

Saru is duuuuumb. Not as in he's a dumb person who does dumb things, I mean the character concept. This episode is also dumb. And it makes the Federation look dumb. Straight from one of the best Star Trek episodes ever to, well, not the worst but it's bad.

Star Trek: Discovery - Calypso

This was the best episode of Discovery so far. It wasn't a unique or original story - I'm fairly certain I've read and/or watched multiple versions of it before - but it was well-executed and enjoyable. My only criticism would be that it ties into the main series in an odd way that I don't think is going to be paid off well, but that's a bit transtextual. Taken on its own, this is a fully self-contained story and you could watch and enjoying it without knowing the first thing about Discovery or even any of Star Trek.

Star Trek: Discovery - Runaway

Being so short, there's not a lot to this episode. It's fine, I guess, though it does annoy me that Tilly keeps the whole thing secret, because that's dumb and obviously only happened because they wanted to make the story be just about her - for both creative and budgetary reasons. The real problem there is that if they'd set it outside the ship, she could have had good reasons for dealing with the whole thing herself but it makes no sense on the Discovery.

Star Trek: Discovery - Will You Take My Hand?

So, the last episode. It was OK. The story was garbage, but some cool stuff happened. And it does reset the status-quo in a way that allows for season two to be much, much better. I wouldn't recommend the first season at all, but I'm going to watch season two.

Star Trek: Discovery - The War Without, The War Within

I have no idea how they're going to wrap this up in one episode, because nothing happened in this one. Or practically nothing. Maybe they're just setting it up for the next season, but if so then I don't think next season's going to be any good at all.