"Employment services providers" are literally incompetent

We all know that the points reporting and compliance testing is bullshit but you'd think that, at the very least, they'd be able to do basic things like write a resume, right? They certainly seem to think they can, because it's one thing they all insist on doing - even if your current resume was written by your last "provider". Every single one of them thinks they know what a resume should look like and no two of them agree, which alone tells you all you need to know about their supposed expertise in the area. But it's worse than that. It's not just that they all assume their own opinions are universal, it's that they are actually terrible at writing resumes. Let me give you an example.

Here's my current resume (click to zoom):

It's about 90% the version my last "provider" made for me. It's no good, according to my current "provider". He wrote me up a new one. Here's his version (click to zoom):

 

As you can see, I've circled a few of the more obvious mistakes. Stuff that spellcheck picks up immediately. And if he's not even bothering to run it through spellcheck, what the fuck is he doing? But also the formatting is completely fucked up. You see, he hasn't used tables, just hit the tab key repeatedly, so (because he used a font that's not on my computer and saved it as a docx instead of a pdf) the spacing is wrong. And that's assuming it even looked good on his computer, which is not a safe assumption.

But the issues go on. "Outstanding communication skills" is obviously filler. "Proficient in Microsoft office [sic] products" - I'm not. Word, sure. Excel, a little bit. Anything else? Nah. Did he ask me about that? Nope! It's obviously just a thing he thinks should be on every resume. Aside from the weird quirk of putting spaces before commas, the rest of that section is more bland, meaningless bullshit. There is nothing there that an employer would pay any attention to.

The employment history section of my current resume has some detail so you'd think he might have copied some of that, but no. He's replaced specific, accurate information with more bullshit. And bad grammar. I don't even know what "reviewing classroom or curricula topics and assignments" is supposed to mean, and the following two points listed for EDUTOP are things that sound plausible but which I didn't do there (and obviously was not asked about before he wrote them down). And then there's "duties as directed". I mean, obviously, right? Why would you write that? But he clearly likes it because he repeated it in the following section as well.

That following section does include one of the points from my current resume, but for some reason he's edited it so that it switches tenses mid-sentence. He actually went out of his way to fuck that up. He's also moved "planning and assessment" from the job it where I actually did planning and and assessment to the job where I didn't. Why?

The section for that last job is less bad, but he's used a lot of words to say very little. It makes sense and isn't wrong, but it reads as a little robotic. Ordinarily I'd say that it should be rewritten but by the standards shown in the rest of the document I'd say this is perfect and he shouldn't touch it; it could only get worse.

Finally we've got a section for references but it just says "provided on request". It's not an issue I suppose, except that it's a clear demonstration of the last problem I want to bring up about this rewrite: it doesn't actually contain any more useful information than the current version, but it's two pages rather than one. He's used more space to do less. And he's looked at this, compared it to the current version, and he thinks his version is better. And he sent it to me, thinking I'd agree. It is mind-boggling.

These people are fucking incompetent.