2010-06-05

Vincent and the Doctor

Season 32, episode 10.




Let's get the stupid pretext out of the way


So, the Doctor and Amy are in an art gallery in Paris in 2010. Because she needed a time travelling spaceship to visit an art gallery on her own planet in the present for some reason. Anyway, the entire point of this is so that the Doctor can see the face of a parrot-dragon in a painting. Apparently he's familiar with the work of van Gogh, but has never noticed the parrot-dragon before, because he's really unobservant, I guess.

So they go back in time and meet up with Vincent, who's just being kicked out of a café. They dick around there for a bit before going back to his house to try to find out what's up with the parrot-dragon.

Oh, there it is


Before long, the parrot-dragon shows up, but it's invisible, so only Vincent can see it. How can Vincent see it? No explanation for this is ever given. The Doctor doesn't even bother guessing. It seems like the sort of thing that might be important, but apparently not, because it's just completely ignored.

So Vincent fights the thing off while the doctor flails around like an idiot, and then the Doctor goes back to the TARDIS to pick up his magic mirror.

Magic mirror?


Oh, right, yeah, magic mirror. Apparently he has one of those. It can identify any person or creature in the universe, and also shows the reflection of invisible things for some reason. If that seems suspiciously convenient right now, don't worry, the Doctor is too stupid to use it effectively.

So they decide to go to the church to find the thing. The logic here seems to be that since Vincent painted it at the church, if they get him to paint the church now, it will have to be there. But the future isn't set in stone in Doctor Who! You can change it! This trick only works if the future is set, so you know that what you've seen in the future will have to happen! But it works anyway because making sense is not a high priority for Doctor Who writers.

Amy's boyfriend might not be dead forever! HINT HINT!


Anyway, during this bit, several very blatant hints are dropped about Amy's boyfriend coming back. I won't bother going into details, because they were stupid and pointless, but the overwhelming message here is "Ooh, maybe Amy's boyfriend isn't dead forever, guys! Did you catch that hint, audience? Don't worry if you didn't because we'll be hammering it into your head a few more times before the episode is over!"

Is that really the best use you could find for a magic mirror?


So the Doctor heads into the church and tells the others to stay outside. Vincent asks Amy if she's going to go in anyway, and she says "of course", because she is pants-on-head retarded.

But before she follows him in, the Doctor wanders around a bit using the mirror to watch for the creature, behind himself. One more mirror, just an ordinary, normal mirror, would have let him look in front of himself, but no, we can't have that. That wouldn't be fucking stupid enough. In fact, just looking only behind himself is not stupid enough, so they make him keep flipping the mirror from side to side, because just turning slightly wouldn't look "wacky" enough.

Obligatory magic wand-based plan


The Doctor wanders around the church for a while, trying to zap the creature with his magic wand, because knocking out parrot-dragons is something it can do this week, but amazingly, it manages to sneak up on him and smash his magic mirror.

As he tries to get away, he runs into Amy, who has followed him because, as previously mentioned, she is retarded, and they both get trapped in the church.

For some reason, Vincent also comes into the church, which is actually a good idea given that he's the only one who can see the creature, and they run around like idiots for a while.

Oh hey, why not try talking?


Suddenly the doctor reveals that the monster is actually intelligent and capable of communication. How did this not come up earlier? You were just going to attack first and ask questions later? That is not how the Doctor behaves! What the fuck!?

As it turns out, the parrot-dragon is not in the mood to chat anyway, so Vincent kills it. It was totally an accident though. I mean, we've all been there right, accidentally impaling something with a chair leg? It happens to everyone.

And that's the end?


Unfortunately, no. The ending just drags on and on forever until you just wish everyone would die. They stick around and chat to Vincent for a while, then they bring him to 2010 to look at his paintings in the present, and then they take him home and he kills himself anyway. But he wrote Amy's name on one of his paintings, so... I don't know. That was good? Or something?

Next episode?


All I really got from the spoilers this week was that the next episode is going to be mainly about some tubby dickhead who I already hate.

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