Niko Bellic is the worst

I've tried to enjoy GTA 4. I've loaded it up several times, I've gotten through a few missions, but I just get bored and frustrated with it before too long. There are several reasons for this:

First there's the fact that walking,.running or driving, getting around is really, really slow. Or at least, it feels that way. Even when you're driving fast, you still don't get any impression of great speed, and you start crashing into everything.

Then there's the issue of character motivation. I have tons of money and no apparent reason to be falling in with these criminals beyond the little bit needed to get Roman out of trouble, but I'm doing it because that's all you can do in this game.

But the main reason I can't get into this game is Niko fucking Bellic, the awkwardest, most off-putting protagonist ever.

That Don't Impress Me Much

Shania Twain is a crazy person. Just take a look at these lyrics:

Romantically Apocalyptic

I sent this email to the author of the webcomic Romantically Apocalyptic:

E.Y.E: Divine Cybermancy

I got this game without really knowing anything about it, because that's the sort of sound financial decision that has made me the wealthy gentleman of leisure that I am today, and I thought after trying it that I would chronicle my thoughts.

The Wedding of River Song

God, what a tedious episode. It just drags on and on with nothing happening until right near the end when it all suddenly comes together in a way that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Closing Time

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! MAKE IT STOP! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME, TELEVISION? WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME SUFFER LIKE THIS? WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO YOU? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!?

This is the worst thing ever. This is an abomination. I actually had to fast-forward parts of this episode to avoid being compelled to tear my own eyeballs out and puncture my eardrums. That stupid fat fuck from The Lodger is back and is even worse than last time. WHY!?

Bring back Amy, bring back Rose, bring back River Song, I don't care, just don't make me watch this dickhead any more!

The God Complex

You are entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location. The kind of place where there might be a monster, or some kind of weird mirror. These are just examples; it could also be something much better. Prepare to enter: The Scary Door.

Doctor Who: The Girl Who Waited

Last week's episode was disappointingly inoffensive, but fortunately this week they're back on top form, by which I mean that this episode was absolute shit from start to finish.

Doctor Who: Night Terrors

Another episode that really doesn't manage to make much impact at all. Don't get me wrong, it was stupid and didn't really make any sense and wasn't as scary/creep as it was obviously supposed to be, but mostly it was just tedious. There was never any real sense of danger and I just never got even slightly interested in what the monster was going to turn out to be, which was good, because the answer was stupid.

Doctor Who: Let's Kill Hitler

Doctor Who is back on, so I guess I'd better start writing some reviews. I'd managed to forget in the intervening time that this episode is called Let's Kill Hitler, and remembering that just made me sad. At least it sets expectations for the episode incredibly low, so I should be less disappointed than normal.