RAW - Realms of Ancient War (25 minutes)
The most generic RPG backstory you've ever heard, a choice of three generic pre-defined characters, and incredibly tedious gameplay - click the monsters until there are no more monsters, and hit the potion button when your health runs low. That's it.
Tomb Raider (2013) (30 minutes)
When the fuck does the game start? I feel like I've been watching a cutscene that just won't end! There've been some quicktime events (awful) and some tutorial stuff (fine) but not any of what I'd call actual gameplay. The game will hand you control for five seconds of walking down a corridor before throwing you into another cutscene, which transitions back into gameplay so seamlessly that you just stand there for a few seconds before you realise you're expected to be doing something. I don't know how anyone got through this bullshit to find out what the game's actually like (whenever you're eventually allowed to play it).
Painkiller: Black Edition (3 hours)
This game has real problems with pacing. You get attacked by mobs of dudes and it's all fast-paced and frenetic action, but afterwards the game incentivises you to methodically go over the entire area smashing objects and collecting coins. It really breaks the flow and puts me off playing a bit.
There's also a problem with the souls dropped by dead enemies: When you pick up a certain number it activates a mode where you're invulnerable and do lots of damage, but since it's automatic it rarely happens when you want it to, so it feels like a huge waste. Plus it fucks up your vision, so if you're just about to the post-combat scavenging phase it's actually really annoying.
Rise of the Triad (2013) (2 hours)
If you liked the original, this is essentially the same game. Crazy weapons, nonsensical level design, seemingly pointless collectables, all of it. It's fun for a little bit, especially if you played the original, but there's not a lot to it and it gets pretty repetitive and samey.
Worms Ultimate Mayhem (5 minutes)
I've never cared much for the Worms games - I think of them as being Scorched Earth only shit - but this is even worse than I remember them being. The tutorial is worse than useless, the controls are awful, this is just a shitty game.
The Ship (25 minutes)
This game seems like a really cool idea, but I'm not sure how well it works in practice. Basically, each player is given another player to hunt down and kill, so you have to take out your target and avoid being taken out by whoever has you as theirs. You can find various weapons and have to be careful not to be caught by the guards or the cameras. It sounds great.
Maybe if I played it a bit more I'd get the hang of it, but from what I did play the ship itself just seems too big, and hunting your target too difficult. There must, I suppose, be ways to narrow down their location, but I couldn't figure it out. And I'm not sure if it was a bug or what, but I had my map showing my target as having been seen at a particular place, but he wasn't there, and I didn't know where to go from there. Cool concept though.
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