This movie is boring. And so much of it seems like unnecessary complications added, I guess, for the sake of setting up sequels? Unlike (the first two movies of) the Raimi/Maguire trilogy, I hadn't seen this movie or its sequel until now, so I don't know how much of what they've set up is actually going to be paid off (or was ever intended to). But that's the impression I got while watching it. They expected to turn this into an ongoing series.
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| Does Peter really need all this backstory? No. |
The other thing about this movie is that whereas Spider-Man (2002) went out of its way to make everything absolutely clear to its audience, regardless of age or previous knowledge of the Spider-Man character or comics, this one seems to have gone in the opposite direction. Aside from the new (I think?) backstory involving Peter's parents working with Curt Connors on secret science, they kind of just go through the motions of explaining who everyone is and why they do what they do.
The most obvious example of this is uncle Ben, who doesn't even say the line. His one reason for existing is to teach Peter that with great power comes great responsibility, and he doesn't even say it, let alone do it. The film seems to expect us to just take it as given that Peter learns this lesson, but he acts entirely from self-interest throughout the entire film. He never actually becomes a hero in this movie. He just becomes a guy who beats up criminals sometimes, and maybe helps one or two people if he happens to be nearby and it's convenient.
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| You had one job, Ben. |
And speaking of criminals, this movie is way more interested in the law than the previous ones. Cops were barely in those movies at all, and when they were around they didn't do much to help or hinder. And Peter didn't really care about crime so much as preventing people from being harmed. In this movie he spends a lot of time actively handing criminals over to the police - although, it must be said, only really as an afterthought, because his main motive is revenge on Ben's killer.
The other big difference is that this movie seems to want to be taken seriously. Which is weird, because it's about a guy turning himself into a lizard in his attempt to cure himself of arm-came-off. Unlike the previous trilogy's major villains (Osborn, Octavius and Brock), Connors seems calm, rational, and suitably cautious about his research. At least until he suddenly isn't. We could see that it wouldn't take much to get Norman Osborn to test his super-soldier serum on himself, and it's a short step from there to everything he does as the Green Goblin. But Connors's transformation is much greater and much more abrupt. It's not really clear why he suddenly wants to be a lizard or turn everyone else into lizards as well.
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| "Why won't you let me turn everyone into lizards, Peter?" |
A similar problem underlies every character in this film; they kind of exist around the plot. None of them feel fleshed out or consistent. They just do things when they need to to keep the story moving. Even Peter himself doesn't feel consistent. He's a nerd because he's socially awkward (except when he isn't) and likes photography? But he's also into skateboarding and has the confidence to publicly call out bullies? He's a science genius, but he doesn't seem to be interested in science. He's the protagonist of the film, but he doesn't grow or change or learn anything.
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| Why is Gwen in highschool but also works in this Science lab? |
The character most hard done by though is aunt May. She's in plenty of scenes, gets a decent number of lines, but barely exists as a character. She's more like a piece of scenery. She's got no opinions on anything; no words of advice; no admonishments; not even the slightest bit of curiosity about what Peter's up to or why he keeps coming home bruised and bloody. She displays concern, but only when he's right in front of her. And then the camera moves away and she ceases to exist.
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| Same, May. |
The same could be said, though to a lesser degree, of almost every other character. Gwen Stacy's father, a police captain, is supposedly hunting Spider-Man. But that has no impact on Peter's ability to enact vigilante justice, it's just so they can butt heads in one scene and then make peace in another. Gwen, herself, is almost as empty as May. The scene where she learns that Peter is Spider-Man may as well not be in the film; she doesn't really react and it doesn't have any consequences.
But nothing has any consequences in this film. Peter blatantly uses his powers, unmasked and in public, on several occasions and no one reacts. A giant lizard commits an act of terrorism in broad daylight in a crowded city in front of many witnesses, but the police are somehow able to blame Spider-Man for it - and no one cares. That's why it's so hard to be entertained by this film. When nothing matters, why are we watching? Well, that and the very bad dialogue.
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| "Peter, it is my dying wish that you stop dating my daughter." |
Other notes:
- Time to Spider-Man: 53 minutes. Even slower (by 8 minutes) than Spider-Man (2002).
- "Flash" Thompson gets more screen time.
- Peter Googling spider bite symptoms only after finding out he has super powers is the one moment of Spider-dumb in the film. It was a pretty good one though.
- The scene in which Peter trains to use his powers was well done.
- The preceding scene, in which Peter uses his powers on a train, was terrible.
- No J Jonah Jameson. Travesty.
- I'm sure Peter's decision to not break up with Gwen for her safety won't come back to bite him in the next film. Famously alive and not dead-because-of-Spider-Man character, Gwen Stacy. I'm sure she'll be fine.
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| Not a fan of this version of the suit, to be honest. |
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