2017-07-17

Stargate SG-1: Cold Lazarus

Episode seven, Cold Lazarus, seems to exist for one simple reason: to fill anyone who didn't see the movie in on Jack's backstory. There's a little bit more to it to keep it interesting for those who already know, but it doesn't tie in to the Goa'uld or have any real repercussions going forward.

2017-07-10

Stargate SG-1: The First Commandment

I could pretty much summarise The First Commandment (episode six) in six words: Apocalypse Now on a TV budget. Why does this exist? Were Robert C. Cooper and Dennis Berry just really big fans of the movie? If so, you'd think they'd be less keen to do a shitty rip-off of it. It's a mystery.

2017-07-03

Stargate SG-1: The Broca Divide

Before I get into the plot of episode 5 (The Broca Divide) I just want to address a little point they make at the start of the episode about the gate addresses. The last symbol represents the point of origin. How does the destination take six symbols and the origin only one? Maybe there's some mathsy answer to this but it makes no sense to me. Anyway...

2017-06-19

Stargate SG-1: The Enemy Within

Episode three (counting the first, double-length episode as two) is The Enemy Within. A few important things get established this episode, the first being the "iris", the metal shield they put over the Stargate to prevent the Goa'uld from just walking into their base any time they feel like it. There's some technobabble explanation, but that's not really important, it's just a door.

2017-06-12

Stargate SG-1: Children of the Gods

Stargate was a pretty good movie that came out in 1994. Three years later they decided to make a TV show out of it for some reason. I liked it at the time (or rather, four or five years later when I actually started watching it), so I've decided to go back and give it another look to see how holds up. So far, not well.

2017-06-08

Amazon reviews are bullshit

OK, not really. But their system for moderating them certainly is, and that does raise a few issues relating to their accuracy and usefulness. But to get into this properly I'll need to go back to an email I got a few months ago. As happens from time to time, someone asked me to review a shitty book.

2017-04-04

Types of Pasta


  • Spaghetti
  • Flat spaghetti
  • Hollow spaghetti
  • Really big, hollow spaghetti chopped up into little sections.
  • Really big, hollow spaghetti chopped up into little sections with a bend in the middle
  • Spirally spaghetti
  • Seashell spaghetti
  • Spaghetti shaped like a bow tie
  • Dinosaur spaghetti
  • Canned spaghetti
  • Big flat sheets of spaghetti
  • Gnocchi

2017-03-24

Cardinal and ordinal numbers

11 - oneteen
12 - toovle
13 - threlve
14 - ten-four
15 - filthteen
16 - sextant
17 - seventeen
18 - eaten
19 - nighmpten
20 - tooty
21 - tooty-one
...
30 - dooty
40 - forty
50 - fighty
60 - sixty
70 - seventy
80 - eaty
90 - ninety
100 - one hundo
...
358 - three hundo and fighty-eight

1th (wunth)
2ld (tooled)
3st (threest)
4rd (ford)
5el (fivel)
6ed (sixed)
7ch (sevench)
8kt (ached)
9mp (nighmp)
10xt (tenxt)
11th (oneteenth)
12ed (toovled)
13st (threlvest)
14ed (ten-foured)
15el (filthteenel)
16ed (sextanted)
17ch (seventeench)
18ed (eatened)
19nt (nighmptennt)
20xt (tootext)
21th (tooty-wunth)
...
30xt (dootext)
...
100st (one hundost)
...
358kt (three hundo and fighty-ached)

2017-03-15

Job application

Client Support Associate (High Impact Role in a Super Fast Growing Media Company)
Looking for an opportunity to get exposure to all parts of a fast growing media company? Want to make an impact, and quickly? Have ideas you`re keen to share? Looking for a mission you can buy into long-term? Willing to work hard and solve problems to make a real difference to education? Answered yes to all or most, then read on!
This is perfect for an applicant with a few years of experience who wants to be excited about going to work. The primary responsibility of the role is client service and support within a varied and fun team. We`re looking for people with customer service, Microsoft Excel, and administration experience. Being a startup, there are plenty of opportunities to hit the ground running and make an impact on our procedures and processes now. Additionally, there is excellent growth potential for the right candidate. 
Our mission is simple: to improve education. But, improving education is hard, so we must continue to build-out a world-class team to pursue the huge opportunities in front of us. 
We`re an Australian, venture-backed edtech startup with global ambitions. We are currently gaining a lot of traction, with hundreds of Australian schools as paying customers. 
We are looking for someone who will be a long-term rockstar within this company; someone who will become integral to our team; someone who is ready to grow and help grow our business. 
An excellent customer service manner is required, as is the ability to think creatively and get things done. We look for problem solvers who are switched on and like a challenge. You will need to be able to integrate seamlessly with our existing diverse and fun team. 
As our client base and office team expand, we have a need for a gun support person to help us `scale up` our processes and client support. You will have the opportunity to work alongside passionate and dynamic people who are changing the way education is delivered in Australia and abroad. 
To be successful in this role, you must have excellent customer service manner - it doesn`t matter how you can demonstrate this. 
The Offer
Excellent career progression within the company for high achievers
Funky office with roughly 50 other great people, in a convenient Fitzroy location
No complex hierarchy or politics
Wear what you want policy
Regular team events, dinners, and drinks

Having been a rockstar for a few years now, and seeking a funky office from which to gain exposure to all parts of a super fast growing media company - yes, all parts - I feel that I could be excited to hit the ground running in terms of customer service and spreadsheets! Like you, I have global ambitions, vague goals and huge growth potential, and so I will be able to integrate seamlessly with any team (provided that they are diverse and fun). I have very little experience with guns, but given the right training I'm sure I could provide support in whatever your plans for "scaling up" may be (press gang?) and until then I look forward to demonstrating my excellent customer service manner through the medium of interpretive dance - I assume that this will not be a problem? I am particularly keen on your "wear what you want" policy as my last employer was quite unreasonable in this regard, insisting that staff wear pants at all times, a policy that I cannot abide.

Yours in anticipation, Mathew Walls.