E.Y.E: Divine Cybermancy

I got this game without really knowing anything about it, because that's the sort of sound financial decision that has made me the wealthy gentleman of leisure that I am today, and I thought after trying it that I would chronicle my thoughts.


The Wedding of River Song

God, what a tedious episode. It just drags on and on with nothing happening until right near the end when it all suddenly comes together in a way that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.


Closing Time


This is the worst thing ever. This is an abomination. I actually had to fast-forward parts of this episode to avoid being compelled to tear my own eyeballs out and puncture my eardrums. That stupid fat fuck from The Lodger is back and is even worse than last time. WHY!?

Bring back Amy, bring back Rose, bring back River Song, I don't care, just don't make me watch this dickhead any more!


The God Complex

You are entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location. The kind of place where there might be a monster, or some kind of weird mirror. These are just examples; it could also be something much better. Prepare to enter: The Scary Door.


Doctor Who: The Girl Who Waited

Last week's episode was disappointingly inoffensive, but fortunately this week they're back on top form, by which I mean that this episode was absolute shit from start to finish.


Doctor Who: Night Terrors

Another episode that really doesn't manage to make much impact at all. Don't get me wrong, it was stupid and didn't really make any sense and wasn't as scary/creep as it was obviously supposed to be, but mostly it was just tedious. There was never any real sense of danger and I just never got even slightly interested in what the monster was going to turn out to be, which was good, because the answer was stupid.


Doctor Who: Let's Kill Hitler

Doctor Who is back on, so I guess I'd better start writing some reviews. I'd managed to forget in the intervening time that this episode is called Let's Kill Hitler, and remembering that just made me sad. At least it sets expectations for the episode incredibly low, so I should be less disappointed than normal.


Cooking with Tiggum: Turkish Kangaroo Sandwiches

Fear not, hungry masses, for it is once again time for me to share with you the secret to culinary success! This time we turn the making of a simple sandwich into a gruelling hour-long ordeal, made worthwhile by the fact that it results in a truly glorious meal.


Using public transport

You get an a tram and find that there are already quite a few people there, but still a few seats left. Where to sit should be obvious, but some people seem to consistently get this wrong.


Your entertaining stories infuriate me!

I've recently been reading some forums on which people were telling entertaining stories about things that happened to them. Mostly people just post stories or make comments, whatever, good times for all. But then some dickhead comes along who is absolutely convinced that something someone said might not be 100% true and that this is a crisis of epic proportions.


Cooking with Tiggum: Something Fishy About the Lasagne

Since my last recipe seemed to be pretty well-received, I thought I'd share another one, this time for fishy-lasagne. Click any image to embiggen, and if you have any questions or feedback, leave a comment.


Internet Oracle

To those who already know about the internet oracle, did you know that thing still exists? How great is that?

To those who've no idea what that is, there's this thing called the internet oracle, and it's great.


Still Life

This game was selling for cheap on Steam recently as one of their unending rounds of games so cheap that you'd be insane to not buy them, and I like a good adventure game, so I scanned some reviews and then bought it. Unfortunately, the reviews lied. They lied like lying fucking liars.


Children of Time

I've been watching my way through Deep Space Nine recently, and I just finished watching the episode Children of Time¹. Normally, I'm fairly forgiving of things that don't make sense in Star Trek, that's just to be expected because that's the sort of show it is, but there was something about this particular episode that I could not allow to pass by.


Cooking with Tiggum: Apple Things

The other day I cooked some apple things and they were delicious, so I have decided to share the secret of my success.


A Good Man Goes to War

God, where to even begin with this massive pile of bullshit they've served up to us in place of a plot this week? I guess technically a lot of stuff happens, but honestly, it's 90% filler. You could cut this episode down to about five minutes and it would be more entertaining, less confusing and a whole lot easier to watch.


The Almost People

Part two of last week's episode, and again the plot barely exists, so I'll just mention a few things as they occur to me rather than going through the plot point by point.


The Rebel Flesh

Rather than the usual plot synopsis with commentary I normally do, I thought I'd try something different this time, since there really wasn't much plot to summarise.


The Doctor's Wife

You know how I always say "This is the worst episode ever"? Well, they've outdone themselves, this time I really mean it, this is the worst fucking episode ever.


The Curse of the Black Spot

The Doctor, Amy and Rory arrive on a pirate ship, apparently because of a distress signal they received. The distress signal will be relevant later, but given how often stupid shit like that happens in this show for no reason there's no way to guess that.


Day of the Moon

This episode opens with a complete waste of time where they pretend they're on the run and the Doctor has been captured and imprisoned in Area 51. It's not at all clear why they felt the need for this ruse. There doesn't seem to be any reason for it at all, other than to waste some time.


The Impossible Astronaut

Doctor Who's back (actually it started last week, but I didn't realise, so this is a little late) and it's just as terrible as ever.


The Ice Man

I picked up a copy of The Ice Man by Philip Carlo in an op-shop a while back just on the basis that it looked vaguely interesting and cost less than a dollar. It's the true story of a mafia contract killer, which sounds like it should be pretty interesting. I started reading it recently and I don't think I'm going to be able to finish it. It's not that it's horrifying or disgusting, it's just really badly written.


Leave My Settings Alone!

I use the Opera web browser, because it allows a large degree of customioation. I can make it work the way I like it to, not the way someone else thinks it should. This is why it really pisses me off when I install an update and find that it's fucked with my settings.


Buying Chips

It may seem like a simple thing, but buying chips from a fish and chip shop is actually a complex game with rules that no one has ever really defined. They're certainly not sold by weight or volume or number. $6 worth of chips is not twice as many as $3 worth. So how do you get the right amount?


On a Scale of One to Ten, I Hate You

I work for a market research company doing surveys over the phone, and one of the common sort of questions that gets asked in these surveys is the "On a scale of one to ten, where one is strongly disagree and ten is strongly agree..." and I've noticed something about this sort of question: It's complete bullshit. No one answers it properly.


Dead Space

I was playing Dead Space today, and as I was playing it I found myself becoming rather frustrated. It seems like it should be a pretty fun game, but there are just these things that make it constantly irritating.


How to Deal With Cold Callers

Shut Up and Listen

This is counter-intuitive because you're probably going to want to either interrupt the caller or just hang up. Don't do that. Believe it or not, you actually want to hear what they're saying.

During their opening monologue they will deliver three pieces of information that you want. They'll tell you the name of the company they're calling from and what they actually want and who they're actually trying to contact.


Gemini Rue

Well, Gemini Rue was released the other day, and I was really looking forward to it. I pre-ordered, even. It sounded awesome. But it isn't.

After Emerald City Confidential and Puzzle Bots I should have been prepared; unless Dave Gilbert is directly responsible for it, it's just not worth playing. But I keep thinking "The Blackwell games are so good, these people clearly know what makes a good adventure game, they can't be so terribly wrong again."

But they can be and they are.


Cider: The Horrible Truth

Recently, apparently normal, sane people have started drinking cider. Lots of them. It's become pretty common. Normally, what people choose to drink is their own business, no concern of mine. If you want to drink cider, go ahead. It doesn't affect me at all. Or does it?


Andy Capp

Andy Capp is a comic strip about a man called Andy Capp, his wife Flo and to a lesser extent, the people they know. It first appeared in 1957 and is still being published, but something strange has happened to it.


Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines

I started playing this game years ago but didn't finish it, so I recently decided to replay it and actually get all the way to the end. In many ways, it's one of the best games I've ever played. In other ways, it's shit. But overall it's very much worth playing.


Ben Harper

So excuse me Mr.
but I'm a mister too
and you're givin' Mr. a bad name
Mr. like you

So I'm taking the Mr.
from out in front of your name
'cause it's a Mr. like you
that puts the rest of us to shame
It's a Mr. like you
that puts the rest of us to shame

This song annoys me every single time I hear it. If you put someone to shame it means you're doing better than them, making them ashamed of their own efforts. Given the context of the song, I am entirely certain that that is not what Ben Harper meant when he wrote that. In fact, his choice of phrase means that the chorus says basically the opposite of what the rest of the song says.

Why did you do that, Ben Harper? Why?


Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

I'm a big fan of SVU, I've been watching it for years. The characters are great and the crimes are interesting. At least, they were. I've noticed recently that I just don't really enjoy watching it any more. I still have been, but I've realised that it's more out of habit than anything, and I think I've worked out what's gone wrong.



It's hard to believe they allow this sort of thing in newspapers...



I recently saw this film after having meant to watch it for quite some time. Almost since it first came out, in fact, because people just went on and on about how wonderful it was. People were wrong. Terribly wrong. This film was painful to watch, start to finish.


Oh look, a blog

For a while now I've been putting random stuff up on my website, which made it kind of hard to find, annoyed people who hate my website layout and just didn't really fit with the stated goal of the site. So I've decided to put that stuff here instead. Plus, Blogger has stat tracking and comments and stuff, so I can see that people look at my stuff and feel important. So the posts up to this point are stuff that has already been on my site, but there will be now stuff coming. You know, unless, like 99% of people who start blogs, I forget this exists and stop posting. Whatever.


Stuff That is Good

Just my recommendations for some free stuff you can find on the internet, some comics, blogs and other things. They're all really good, you should read them.