2015-01-05

Microsoft HAL

There's a point when installing Windows 8 (and again when upgrading to 8.1) where your screen fades to black, and then after a few seconds the word "Hi" appears in the middle of the screen. And I just don't understand what they were thinking when they decided to do that. It's the creepiest software installation ever.

And it's not made any better when it's followed up with "Taking care of a few things. Don't turn off your PC." as the screen shifts between different coloured backgrounds and gives no indication of what the hell is actually going on.

It seems like a practical joke that someone at Microsoft slipped in there that was never removed. When I try to shut it down afterwards I half expect to get a screen that just says "I'm sorry, I can't let you do that." Either that or have it start to sing Daisy Bell.

The only other possible explanation I can think of is that someone at Microsoft read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and didn't realise that the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation's attempts at friendly robots were funny because that would actually be really irritating and creepy.

It also doesn't help that Windows 8.1 makes the UI worse and broke my network and DVD drivers (again) and will keep annoying the shit out of you until you agree to let it install. But those are separate issues.

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