Night One
- WWE Championship (Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley): 3/7. Bobby Lashley is just a very strange and awkward man and I will never care about anything he does. Lio Rush couldn't help him, Drew McIntyre couldn't help him, and MVP certainly can't help him.
- Tag Team Turmoil (Lana & Naomi vs. Carmella & Billie Kay vs. The Riott Squad vs. Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke vs. Natalya & Tamina): 2/7. A gauntlet match with weird ad-hoc tag teams featuring a bunch of people way too good to waste on this garbage.
- Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro: 6/7. When Cesaro balanced Seth on his shoulders and spun him around, hands-free? Magic.
- Raw Tag Team Championship (The New Day vs. AJ Styles & Omos): 2/7. You're telling me Omos is so powerful that he can easily beat Xavier and Kofi practically on his own? Come on.
- Cage Match (Shane McMahon vs. Braun Strowman): 1/7. Guys. Dudes. What is this? What are you doing?
- John Morrison & The Miz vs. Damian Priest & Bad Bunny: 6/7. Wait, this was actually good? How?
- Smackdown Championship (Bianca Belair vs. Sasha Banks): 6/7. Unlike the last one, this one being good didn't surprise me.
Night One Rating: 3/7. Would have been 4, but they lost a point for making me see Hulk Hogan, Jerry Lawler and JBL on my screen. Aside from that it was just really inconsistent.
Night Two
- Randy Orton vs. The Fiend: 7/7. Alexa and Randy have been doing great work on this storyline and I love that it's apparently not over, and now I guess Alexa has become more powerful than the Fiend? Is that what happened here? I don't know where they're going with this, but I've loved every bit of it so far!
- WWE Women's Tag Team Championship (Natalya & Tamina vs. Shayna Baszler & Nia Jax): 4/7. The women's main roster tag division really needs some actual teams and stories. Basically the only thing happening right now is Shayna and Nia's half-arsed repeat of The Bar's story, and whatever is going on with Reginald.
- Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens: 1/7. What did Sami and Kevin do to deserve this?
- United States Championship (Sheamus vs. Riddle): 2/7. Ugh. Riddle. Would be 1/7 but at least he lost.
- Intercontinental Championship Nigerian Drum Fight (Big E vs. Apollo Crews): 2/7. They didn't even have anyone playing the drums. It was just a stupid no-DQ match with thematically appropriate props. And it's really weird to have Apollo put on that accent and claim to be descended from royalty. It's all just weird. And not in a good way.
- Raw Championship (Rhea Ripley vs. Asuka): 7/7. These two are both great.
- Universal Championship Triple Threat (Daniel Bryan vs. Edge vs. Roman Reigns): 6/7. The only real issue with this one was that I never believed Daniel Bryan had a chance of winning it.
Night Two Rating: 3/7. Would have been 4, but they lost a point for making me see Hulk Hogan (again) and Logan Paul. And again, wildly inconsistent.
Overall Rating (-1 point for every terrible person featured): 1/7. Because the scale doesn't go any lower.
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