WWE SummerSlam

Overall rating: ★★☆☆☆☆☆

Some terrible writing, boring matches, and bad results. Nothing worth seeing on the entire show. A dismal failure.

• Raw Tag Championship (Riddle & Randy Orton vs. AJ Styles & Omos)
  ★☆☆☆☆☆☆
  Skipped.
  
  
• Singles (Eva Marie vs. Alexa Bliss)
  ★★☆☆☆☆☆
  I understand the story here: Alexa is possessed by a ghost or demon or whatever and has picked Eva as her victim. OK, fine. But from a writing perspective, why? It doesn't make sense to pair these two characters. This doesn't work for either of them. It sabotages Marie's return, and it's a waste of Bliss's time. And everyone pretending to not know who Piper Niven is is really weird. She was on NXT UK and in the Mae Young Classic! The WWE audience has seen her before this!
  
  
• United States Championship (Damien Priest vs. Sheamus)
  ★★★☆☆☆☆
  The ending was extremely obvious early on, but it still took forever to get there.
  
  
• Smackdown Tag Championship (The Mysterios vs the Usos)
  ★★☆☆☆☆☆
  Does anyone actually care about Dominik Mysterio? He looks like a fan who accidentally wandered into the ring. I think he's supposed to be a lovable underdog, but you can't be that when it's obvious you're only there because of who your dad is.
  
  
• Smackdown Championship (Bianca Belair vs. Carmella)
  ★☆☆☆☆☆☆
  This was supposed to be Belair vs. Sasha Banks but at the last minute they announced Banks was unable to compete so it's Carmella instead. And then Becky Lynch's music hit and I knew what was about to happen. There was no way Lynch wasn't going to win this. But the way it happened was shit. The entire segment was shit. If you'd told me in advance that Lynch was coming back and challenging for the championship, I'd have assumed she was going to win and that it would be awesome. Well, one of those things was true. We're clearly supposed to love that she's champion again, and under other circumstances I would, but like this I hate it. Absolutely piss poor writing.
  
  
• Singles (Jinder Mahal vs. Drew McIntyre)
  ★★★☆☆☆☆
  I'm still kind of sick of McIntyre, and that's not helped by putting him in a no-stakes match against a guy who's been completely off the radar for... however long it's been.
  
  
• Raw Championship (Nikki ASH vs Charlotte Flair vs. Rhea Ripley)
  ★★☆☆☆☆☆
  I don't like how they seem to expect us to just forget that Nikki Cross was previously a top-tier competitor. Having her be such an underdog here is wildly inconsistent with everything we know about her. Did the new costume drain her wrestling skills? Yes, she should be the underdog in this case because Flair and Ripley are basically titans, but you can't expect us to forget that this is nothing new for Nikki. I want to like the (almost a) super hero gimmick, but the execution is terrible.
  
  
• Singles (Edge vs. Seth Rollins)
  ★★★★☆☆☆
  If you're going to reference that time when Edge used to be a vampire, go all the way and make him a fucking vampire! More supernatural shit in wrestling, please. And if you tell me that the stakes of this match are that one of these guys is legitimately trying to break the other guy's neck, well, I don't believe that's going to happen. Kind of makes it harder to care about it.
  
  
• WWE Championship (Bobby Lashley vs Goldberg)
  ★★☆☆☆☆☆
  Oh my god who cares?
  
  
• Universal Championship (Roman Reigns vs. John Cena)
  ★★★☆☆☆☆
  I like both these guys better than I like Lashley or Goldberg, but still. Who cares?